Halloween

Halloween is when people put on masks and costumes. When I have gone to Halloween parties since 1993 I have of course dressed as a dominatrix – with a mask. When the party involved clients they too dressed up as slaves or sissies. One of the great advantages of my trade has been that I have never been short of costumes or disguises. Sometimes my clients would just wear a hood, and so preserve their anonymity in public. Fetish clubs love this time of year and some extraordinary parties take place in Toronto.

Client Letter – II

In my book Dominatrix on Trial I spoke about the many scenes the clients requested. Often they would put their requests in writing. Here is another excerpt.
Dear Headmistress. My name is —- I am a 40 year old single submissive widower presently living in B.C. All I want is to spend the rest of my life as a submissive sissy cross-dressed maid slave serving a group of older dominant mistresses. I am willing to travel anywhere and move anywhere to serve my mistresses. I would like to be called Stephanie. Please send me your illustrated booklet and application form so I can enrol in your academy and begin my real true calling.

Client Letter – I

In my book Dominatrix on Trial I spoke about the many scenes the clients requested. Often they would put their requests in writing. I have been asked to share a few with you. In these next few blogs I will share excerpts with you:

Dear Headmistress,

I would like you to train me in being a sissy because I have come to the realization that I am a girl and I would like to be trained as a girl. Do we live with each other and do we wear all female clothing and how much is it for a month at the academy? Can you train me as a Sissy Socialite? How is this done, and what is the difference in the cost? I will obey you at all times.

Tweeting

As many of you know I have been tweeting quite often. I started doing so at the request of supporters who wanted me to keep in touch daily. I have found it to be good fun, and there are times I look forward to sharing interesting tidbits. There is also a more serious reason for tweeting twice a day. Soon the Ontario Court of Appeal will release its decision in Bedford Versus Canada – Justice Himel’s decision striking down the laws combating prostitution. There will be plenty to be said then, and much will be said by many very quickly. You can be sure I will be tweeting and blogging then.

School Days

I have had a lot of requests and questions from students writing papers on the current court decisions on the constitutionality of Canada’s laws to combat prostitution. For those who may not be aware I will offer the following sources of information. My recently published memoir, Dominatrix on Trial, has two chapters about the current matter. Go to the website dominatrixontrial.com for ordering details. Also, there are the links on this very website, terrijeanbedford.com as well as another site I have madamedesade.com. These sources provide the factual information on the matter, as well as my perspectives. In these blogs I will comment further once the decision on the appeal is released and my co-plaintiffs and I, and our lawyers, have had a chance to assess the decision and our options to respond.

My Dominatrix Bondage and Fetish Equipment

What I said in my blog 2 days ago about how I stocked my wardrobes in my houses could also be said about my equipment. I had a couple of clients who were long time S&M enthusiasts, but were also carpenters. They built me a jail cell and some devices clients could be fastened to. Things like chains and fasteners I got at hardware stores. Clients also bought me restraints, harnesses and straightjackets from the fetish stores in downtown Toronto. However I personally selected my whips, paddles and specialty bondage masks. You can see a few photos of the equipment in my book, Dominatrix On Trial.

Madame deSade’s Dominatrix Wardrobes

Some readers of my memoir Dominatrix on Trial have asked me where I got the clothes I wore in the dungeon and so forth. The clothes they are talking about are described in detail in the book and I did make some reference to a couple of the places I shopped. But let me also add here that I was constantly adding, so it was not all bought at the outset. Also, clients brought me items as gifts that they wanted to see me or my staff wear. Finally, it is important to keep in mind that there was a wardrobe selection for the cross-dressers, as well as one for the doms. Most, as I say was bought at the two stores mentioned in the book or given by clients. However, much of what I had, such as leather skirts, boots and gloves, was also bought at second hand stores.

The Picton Hearings

In Canada the public hearings into the serial killing of women by Robert Picton has begun. Picton abducted dozens of prostitutes from Vancouver to his pig farm and murdered them there. The hearings are looking at why he went undetected for so long. I have been asked to comment, but I say that everyone should listen to those testifying before the commission and read the decision. We cited the Picton matter as evidence that the prostitution laws should be struck down, and we won. Yet the government appealed, in less time than it took to get and read the decision. This time, however, the hearings are public and what we said about the laws will, I think, be amplified. But as I say, let’s listen and watch. That means you too Prime Minister Harper.

About My Birthday

I just turned 52. Several years ago, when I found out that I had advanced Hepatitis C, and began chemotherapy, I knew that every birthday would be something to be grateful for. I look good for my age and feel bad for my age. Most days I can only function for a few hours at most. On special days in the current legal battle I would, as they say, run on adrenalin. On the days after I would have to recover.

Now I must be selective about how I spend my time. I have heard people say that without your health you have nothing. I don’t agree. Without my health, confined to home, I was able to finish my book. That was a great motivator. I also have had many interviews about Dominatrix on Trial, and have tried to respond to the many who have written. I also make a point to keep this diary and tweet. People have told me they are glad I am staying in touch in this manner, and I want to take this opportunity, my birthday, to thank the many who have sent their good wishes and support.

Waiting For the Appeal Decision

The decision on the appeal of the September 2010 decision striking down Canada’s prostitution laws is expected in the coming months, if not weeks. We, the parties to the proceeding, will be advised of the date of the release a few days in advance. I have had to wait for numerous verdicts and decisions during my legal battles, and I have learned a few lessons on how to handle the wait. For one, it does no good to dwell on it or worry about it. If I do an interview or respond to correspondence, or do something else tangible, I will think about the matter of course. At other times I work at chasing the matter from my thoughts when I am alone. My friends know they should not raise the topic when with me. This way I don’t burn out. I have the added advantage that Val and Amy, the other plaintiffs, have also done their share. A number of activists have also been very supportive in furthering the cause in the media. Of course the lawyers have as well.

After the activities following the release of the September 2010 decision I turned my energies, when I had them, to finishing my memoirs and then promoting them. If, after the decision on the appeal is released there is another appeal, as most expect, I will have prepared myself for a long process with episodes of activity. That is the way to run the long race – pace yourself.

Thornhill Press Coverage

This month there was an article about my book, Dominatrix on Trial, in the Thornhill Post. Some of you may recall that this is the town right at the top of Toronto where my Bondage Bungalow was raided in 1994, giving rise to many of the matters dealt with in my memoirs. I hope of course that book sales result from the article, but above that I hope that my book will remind the residents of Thornhill to be vigilant in ensuring local officials are not corrupt. When you add official corruption and incompetence to bad laws which are subject to arbitrary enforcement (or non-enforcement) it is an open invitation for our society to backslide to the dictator-like conditions so common in other parts of the world.

After the raid on my bungalow it was discovered that the Chief of York Region Police was corrupt, and that many officials and police officers had acted inappropriately in my and other matters. Julian Fantino, who is now a member of parliament for a riding near Thornhill, was brought in to clean up the York Regional Police. Numerous investigations led to corrective actions. When he became Chief of Police of Toronto around the year 2000, I was back in business there. I had no police problems at all.

Ontario Election – After the Vote

A few days ago we in Ontario, Canada’s largest province, went to the polls. The result has been the re-election of the Liberal government, but with a minority. Unless there are recounts or whatever, they will have 53 seats in the 107 seat legislature. Assuming no members resign, die or change parties, the 2 opposition parties can bring down the government and force another election. It also means that the government must seek support or non-opposition from members outside its own party for anything it does.

It is my hope that the new legislature will pay attention to the current debate of the Himel decision striking down Canada’s prostitution laws. As I have said before, the issue before the Court of Appeal is not prostitution. The issue is the decision. In a bigger sense though, the issue can be said to be the desire of the governments of the country and province to keep the current laws in place – regardless of one’s views on prostitution. The judge was clear, Parliament pass new laws, laws that are clear, laws that are fair, laws that will be enforced. The present laws are dramatically under-enforced and when enforced often applied in an arbitrary and select fashion.

Parliament should do something now, not just try to do nothing for as long as possible. The new provincial legislature must do the right thing too. It should withdraw support for the appeal of the Himel decision, and instead advocate, like me, that the federal government write new laws and justify them. I will have more to say about that in the future. The federal and provincial elections are over and the time to act has arrived. This should not be before the courts any longer.

Ontario Election – Before the Vote

Today the people of Ontario are voting in a provincial election. The Liberal Party, led by Premier Dalton McGuinty, has a majority of seats in the provincial legislature. They are neck and neck with the Conservative Party. Each is expected to get about 40% of the seats. The New Democratic Party (NDP) is projected to get about 20% of the seats. If these projections hold up, it means a minority government which in turn means the NDP will support one of the major parties in return for the government putting some of their policies in place. However, it is still possible for a majority government to be won by any of the parties.

I do not want to say which party I prefer, and I am not so sure I in fact prefer any party. I am very familiar with the issues that have been points of discussion in my legal battles. I suspect that the Conservatives will, like the federal Conservatives, refuse to even consider accepting Judge Himel’s decision or conclusions. The Liberals have already taken the course of following the federal decision to appeal. The New Democrats have been strangely silent about Judge Himel’s decision, and the decision to appeal it. It should be interesting to see if and how that changes when the election, later today, is over. At that time all levels of government will have had recent elections and I will be addressing my comments to those in power, except this time without the complication of upcoming elections.

My Artwork

A number of people who have read my book Dominatrix on Trial have written asking about my paintings and whether any are for sale. My paintings range from tribal fetish-like medicine man images to wilderness settings to floral arrangements. Most are in colour. I have never had them looked at by an art critic or appraiser, but am planning to do so at some time. It has been suggested to me that I have an auction. This may happen too. I have never sold any. In my modest home they cover almost all the wall space in the main rooms. Fortunately, the desire to paint more is less pronounced and I have been taking photos and arranging them on my computer with music.

I did little painting in the last couple of years because I was finishing my memoirs and we had the constitutional case. There was, and is, also the matter of those days when I am too sick to do much of anything. I can now only read at most an hour a day and writing is difficult, so I only respond to select e-mails and do a bit of bookkeeping for a nearby business, which fortunately is now routine for me. I can talk and listen without too much trouble and I am able to watch television without too much trouble. But the urge to paint, and the ability to do so comfortably, may return sometime and if it does I’m all for it.

Locations of My Dungeons

I had 3 dungeons. The first was in Windsor, the small Canadian town near Detroit where I came from. That was in the 1980’s. The second was in Thornhill, basically a suburb of Toronto, which was famously raided in 1994. The third, from 1999 to 2002 was in downtown Toronto. The first was a house with the dungeon in the basement. The top floor was used for the escort service. It was near downtown Windsor. The second was a bungalow in a posh neighbourhood. All rooms on the ground floor and basement were put to use. The third dungeon was a four storey semi-detached house in downtown Toronto. About 8 rooms were in use by the time I closed.

Some dominatrices have cottages which are fully equipped. Some work out of apartments. Some have houses like I did. Some do outcalls or rent facilities for sessions. When I chose a location it was not based on the location itself, it was based on the availability of a place within my budget and with a landlord who was on side. If I was healthy and had unlimited funds and wanted to go back into business I am not sure where I would reopen and locate. All locations have advantages and disadvantages, as do all choices of a full facility or minimalist approach.

My Favourite Dominatrix Scenes

People who have read my book Dominatrix on Trial have written to ask me which “scenes” were my favourites. Every dominatrix enjoys some things about her job more than others. Obviously we like the pure dominatrix stuff more than the administrative aspects of the job, such as cleaning, paperwork and answering phones. In the book I was careful not to say which my favourite scenes were. However, outside the book I will give you these additional comments.

First of all, longer scenes were better. I was always frustrated, as was the client, when the hour went by so quickly. For example, a cross-dresser would take off his clothes, I would help him into restrictive female attire, and there might only be a bit more than enough time of his hour left to get him changed again. Role play can be greatly enhanced when prolonged. Secondly, I would say, honestly, that there were many role-play scenarios I enjoyed above the others, but at that I will stop. Some things are best kept secret. Sorry. It would be like a magician giving away the secrets of doing the magic tricks.

The Harper Anti-Crime Agenda

Last week the federal government introduced new laws to combat crime. I will not take the kind of partisan positions I am taking on the prostitution and related laws. If I have learned anything it is that one needs to know what one is talking about before taking a position. I spent 2 years in hearings and several days in court, not to mention living the issues for decades, before coming to my position on the prostitution laws. Those of you who have read my book Dominatrix on Trial, will know what I am talking about. While I know something about the justice system I will not take the irresponsible position of commenting conclusively about the latest law changes introduced into parliament.

For those who are not aware of these the laws are essentially being changed to mean more time in jail for violent crime and the like and take away judicial discretion in some areas. There may be some deterrent effect, maybe not, and there may be more or less justice as a result of the new laws. However what struck me was the absence of anything preventative or curative, such as more police or more rehabilitation for offenders. There was also no recognition of how much better rich people with lots of talented legal representation fare than do poor people. Is that justice? Isn’t that something the government should be worried about?